As the rain-soaked streets of Westminster witnessed Rishi Sunak’s decision to call a snap election, it was like watching a soggy soap opera unfold in real-time. The stage was set for a political drama of epic proportions, complete with plot twists and turns that would make even the most seasoned scriptwriter blush. But he did it! He called an election earlier than necessary! And clearly this was not staged or planned; just look at the weather … or his face.
This upcoming election marks the first real test of the electorate’s mood since 2019, a time when Boris Johnson’s buoyant charisma and unyielding Brexit fervor propelled the Tories to a resounding victory. But alas, it seems Sunak’s ego couldn’t resist the siren call of power, leading him to remove the one thing that made people vote Tory: Boris Johnson himself.
Since the last real, pre-COVID and fair election, in my opinion, was held in 2015 and resulted in a Tory majority. Since then, I would argue, we have had four of the most corrupt and despicable Prime Ministers in our history. David Cameron used to make you shudder? Perhaps you hold a deep hatred for Thatcherite politics. Well, to be fair, those leaders were successful in, at the very least, getting things done. Since 2015, we’ve had Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak. A whos-who of incompetence, evil and, in Liz Truss’ case a genuine ignorance about who that moron was or where she came from.
More importantly, however, only Boris Johnson was genuinely elected democratically in 2019. In 2015, David Cameron legitimately won a general election (with the promise of a Brexit vote – thanks Dave!), but soon jumped ship and left us with Theresa May. Then Boris won the election in 2019 before being somehow beaten by Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak. None of these people were elected by the people. Rishi Sunak was NOT an elected Prime Minister so don’t shed a tear if he fails to win his first actual general election as leader.
In her usual no-holds-barred style, Angela Rayner, the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, described Sunak as a “pint-size wannabe loser,” a title that seemed to hit the mark with surprising accuracy. Sunak’s attempts to distance himself from Johnson left him resembling a damp squib rather than a political powerhouse.
Sunak’s journey from economic wunderkind to political pariah has been as chaotic as a hen party in a downpour. His ‘Eat Out to Help Out’ scheme, initially hailed as a stroke of genius, quickly devolved into a public health nightmare, akin to handing out umbrellas during a monsoon and expecting sunshine. It is now thought to have actually extended the length and dangers of COVID-lockdown.
Then came the ‘pingdemic,’ a debacle of epic proportions that saw Sunak caught in the crossfire of his own misguided policies. As the nation grappled with staff shortages and supply chain disruptions, Sunak found himself pinged by his own NHS Test and Trace app while extolling the virtues of returning to the office. It was a comedy of errors that would have been hilarious if it hadn’t been so detrimental.
But perhaps the pièce de résistance in Sunak’s political pantomime was his brazen betrayal of Boris Johnson. Like a snake shedding its skin, Sunak attempted to slither away from the Prime Minister, leaving a trail of WhatsApp messages and strategic leaks in his wake. Yet, for all his machinations, Sunak’s attempts to position himself as the Tories’ next top dog only served to highlight his own shortcomings as a leader.
As the rain continues to fall on Westminster, one can’t help but wonder if Sunak’s decision to call a snap election is one last throw of the dice, a desperate bid to catch the snoozing Labour and Lib Dems off guard. But let’s face it, trying to surprise your opponents when you represent the most corrupt government in UK history is like trying to sneak up on someone in a room full of flashing neon signs.
In the end, Rishi Sunak’s snap election may be nothing more than a futile attempt to outrun the storm clouds gathering overhead. But as the saying goes, you can’t outrun the rain forever, and sooner or later, Sunak will find himself soaked to the bone, facing the consequences of his actions. And if the electorate’s appetite for change is anything to go by, even the charisma-vacuum that is Keir Starmer might start looking like a breath of fresh air in comparison.
Here we go …
Ignorantly Ignorant 