It was announced a few weeks ago that Matt Hancock would be joining “I’m a Celebrity, get me Out of Here!”, whilst still trying to remain as an MP. I was not even shocked when I read the headline. In fact, I almost laughed. Almost.
After all of this mess, Matt Hancock now thinks its appropriate to stay in his position and go out and get his five seconds of fame on a reality TV show. Hancock, the clue’s in the name by the way, is famous in the Tory party for … um … well he was caught on CCTV groping that woman. But as an MP? Hancock served as Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, a fantastic job he did too! As we are now genuinely facing a nurse-strike over Christmas due to his failure after failure.
Speaking of this man’s failures, it’s also funny to mention that he actually stood in the 2019 Conservative Party leadership election but withdrew shortly after the first ballot. The man is so self-confident he genuinely believed that he could be Prime Minister! Whilst that does not sound that hilarious after we have suffered through Boris, then Liz Truss and now Rishi (an article on his bullying saga will soon come), it was ridiculous at the time. He quickly withdrew as he saw the tides turning and potentially realised that he is actually incompetent after all. In the end, he began endorsing Boris Johnson, which allowed him to retain in his Cabinet in July 2019. Hancock served as Health Secretary during the COVID-19 pandemic and played a prominent role in the government’s response.
That’s right, Hancock played a key role in the government’s response to COVID. The “eat-out to help-out scheme”, the millions spent on failed tracking apps, the failure to supply proper protection when needed. This man is beyond a joke. He is just a walking failure.
But his arrogance knows no bounds, it would seem. Failure after failure after failure. And then it was announced that he would be going on a reality TV show. I have never watched this show, but I plan to this year simply because I want to see this shambles of a man fail again – except this time when he fails the entire country will not collapse. I hope.
But the audacity of an MP to think it’s appropriate and respectful to his constituents to go on a TV show whilst still “representing their best interests” is an absolute joke. The Tory party, in all fairness to them, were quick to remove the whip from him. This means that in the next election, if he hasn’t had the good grace and decency to step down before then, he will have to stand as an independent.
His excuse for joining the show? He wants people “to see the real me”. We’ve seen enough of the real you Matt, whether it was your public failures in office or your disgusting private life. We’ve seen enough and we’ve had enough.
If this isn’t some sort of joke and he intends to stay in Westminster – then the title of the show is quite apt in my opinion. Get him out of there.
Oh how it was only a month ago that people seemed to be celebrating the end of the Boris Johnson’s era, as he announced his “intention” to resign. As an article I wrote exactly a month ago outlined, this was never an official resignation. Nor was it a signal that Boris wanted to leave politics.
The man needs to be in the limelight, he needs to be seen, he needs to be adored. And thanks to a never-ending stream of media and millions upon millions of Boris fans, he will get to choose his moment to leave. And this is not it.
I am no fan of Tony Blair, but many will remember in his final PMQs speech in 2007 he displayed a level of grace and diplomacy that Britain had been lacking since he launched his illegal invasion of Iraq in 2003. However, leaving that to one side, Blair’s final words during Prime Minister’s Questions to Parliament were moving, profound and entirely suitable for someone leaving such an important role in for such a long time. He said at last, and with almost a tear in his eye, “To all my colleagues from all of the different political parties. Some may belittle politics but we know, who are engaged in it, it is where people stand tall. And although I know it has its many harsh contentions – it is still the arena that sets the heart beating a little faster. And if it is on occassion the place of low skullduggery, it is more often the place for the pursuit of noble causes. And I wish everyone, friend or foe, well. And that is that. The end.” Met with a standing ovation from both sides of the House.
For all his mismanagement, his lies, his enemies, he still left the highest office in the country with dignity and respect. By this point, his party had begun to hate him, those around him had begun to conspire and eventhough he held a strong majority – he knew that his time was up. And so he resigned. This is not to say Blair held the office with any special dignity or treated it any better than those who had preceded him; in fact, he probably disrepected the role of Prime Minister and the Houses of Parliament more than any other leader in history. Except one.
Boris has nothing but contempt for the British people. He has no respect for the role of Prime Minister. Attending those weird Downing Street parties (really, who wants to party with those over-grown prefects. I bet Jacob-Rees Mogg really knows his way around a 7 minute anechdote about paint drying). As wild and fun as I am sure these parties were, they were still illegal.
A further quick list – the Rwandan deportations, a vote of no confidence, two massive by-election losses, soaring inflation, a hike in interest rates, a hike in national insurance, mounting strikes from TFL which will soon spread to other working sectors (just believe me, it will), a cost of living crisis, a widening gap between the rich and the poor which is almost comparable to Dickenensian times, as one commentator posted. And Boris’ final words?
“Hasta la vista, baby.”
Are you joking? Your final words in Parliament are a quote from the Terminator? After all the mess, lies and fear you’ve created, those are your final words? Without a second of remorse or even an attempt to regain some form of bipartisanship … is it because you knew they wouldn’t be your last words in Parliament?
Directly translated “hasta la vista” does technically mean goodbye, but is usually said with a note of “see you later” or “I’ll see you again”. But I don’t think we should get bogged down in the direct nuances of what Boris said; half the time I don’t think he even knows what he’s saying so let’s put that to one side. There’s a possibility that studying his final speech may become like studying Shakespeare at school, endlessly analysing The Bard’s use of the word “red” until you drove yourself mad. By the way, Shakespeare described blood as “red” in Macbeth because blood is bloody red! But I digress.
A better way to judge Boris’ plans, and most people’s to be fair, is to look at the surrounding context, look at their past actions and then apply that to potential future contexts you can see coming. Let’s apply this.
Firstly, the context surrounding Boris’ “resignation”. It is essential that we understand that Boris has not resigned. He is still our Prime Minister; but as I said in a previous article, he is not an idiot. He plays the idiot.”All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players” as Shakespeare once famously wrote. (If only my English teachers could see me quoting the playwright now! Not that I’m still holding that grudge.)
To be quite honest, I don’t think Britain has really experienced a politician like Boris Johnson before. A man who not only knows when to seize an opportunity and run with it, as he did with Brexit as everyone around him was calling him mad. He saw the opportunity as a win-win. And it was.
But more importantly than seizing opportunities as they immediately arise, Boris also knows when to step back into the shadows if necessary and let others take control. After the Brexit vote, surely a Brexit-supporting politician should have immediately stood. Whilst Boris was essentially “stabbed in the back” by Michael Gove at this point, he did not cry or kick up a fuss – allowing the media to do this for him. But rather than this being an honourable act of stepping aside to let the better man stand (if you think Michael Gove is a better person than you just give up, genuinely just give up).
He did not even complain when Theresa May won the election, by the slimmest of margins, despite the fact that she was a Remainer. This was because Boris knows how to play the game. It was obvious, or seemingly so, that whoever took over as Prime Minister after David Cameron would face an incredible challenge over seeing Brexit through. And while all the Tory MPs rushed to get their names on the ballot, Boris potentially knew that his time would come later.
Obviously, with the benefit of hindsight, Boris’ plans did work out. Theresa May did make a mess of things, she did nearly bring the Tory party down and it was only due to the divided nature of the Labour party, coupled with the in-fighting over Jeremy Corbyn, that the Tories managed to stay in power.
Boris did then see an opportunity to strike, as the Labour party was unimaginably weak at this point. He led the bid and was successful – as a lot of people forget how immensely popular he is amongst the Tory membership. And, whilst the Tory members may share 3 brain cells between them, their voting powers are very strong when deciding who the next leader of the party will be.
Context. So whist everyone is clamouring to find out who the next Tory leader will be. *Sigh*. Will it be the well-informed, tax dodging criminal? Well … apparently he “stabbed Boris in the back”, according to many Tory party members, because he refused to work for a criminal…
But guess what? There’s no honour amongst thieves. Learn it the hard way. Or the next Prime Minister could be Liz Truss, who is possibly the most incompetent politician I have ever seen. I am being entirely objective when I say Liz Truss is not fit to be the Prime Minister. That is not sexist. I feel the same way about Rishi Sunak too, as he is a criminal, but at least he is knowledgeable about the current situation of the country. But anyway, who knows who will win. The Tory members will let us know the bad news soon enough.
Rather more interesting than who will win out of those two losers. They are doomed to be one-term PMs as there is no way they can continue to lead the country without massively raising taxes, tackling the Unions and solving the housing crisis – a competent PM could not acheive this. Either one of these overgrown children could not and will not be able to do it, even if they had the best ministers around them and not a who’s-who of political ineptitude.
But who comes after that? If we assume that Labour will continue with its in-fighting and Starmer as their leader then I think it’s safe to assume they do not pose a threat to the Tories’ massive majority.
Increasingly, there have been demands within the Tory party for Boris to return. There are even reports that the PM has discussed and even broadly outlined a plan for his return. Indeed, a leaked report from one of his close aides suggests that Boris has gone so far as to say that he wants to be back as Prime Minister within a year. It really is incredible and, unfortunately, I cannot tell whether this manouvre is too far or whether he’s just a step ahead of every political commentator there is, as he has been throughout his career.
I’d imagine the former. Boris has been in politics long enough. As the famous Bible saying goes, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain”. Or maybe that’s Batman. Nevertheless, even as I write this there is a slight worry that Boris may be toying with us, yet again. His claims of returning to government, the fact that he hasn’t disappeared to become some millionaire adviser like Blair, Cameron, Clegg all have done is interesting to say the least. He has the option to ride off into the sunset with millions of pounds to sit with – but he isn’t. Why? Don’t tell me it’s out of some patriotic duty he must feel. Give it a rest.
But with over 8,000 Conservative Party Members signing a petition calling for Boris to be put back on the ballot paper, people should be concerned. Boris’ tenure has led to a failed Brexit, with strains on relations with Europe, the USA and the rest of the world as Britain seeks to isolate itself further. Added to that, the lies, the crimes, the wasted money on COVID schemes. Even as I research this article I come across new information that Norway could cut power to Britain, compounding the effect of the predictions that the UK’s energy prices are expected to jump by 70% in October.
Boris’ tenure has been marred by such headlines. And whilst the next PM will definitely be either Rishi Sunak or Liz Truss, don’t expect either to be around for long. In fact, don’t expect much from either of them – the situation will get worse before it gets better.
But “Hasta la vista baby” ??? All we can do is hope we never see you again Boris. Hope beyond hope.
For the past decade Jimmy Carr has dominated television comedy. He IS the host. With his annoying laugh, questionable one-liners and several very successful TV shows it is hard to imagine what comedy shows these days would be like without him. But does that make him funny?
The host of ‘8 out of 10 Cats’, ‘8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown’ and the ‘Big Fat Quiz of the Year’, the man is everywhere. You can’t avoid him. Do you want to? I find him very limited, wooden and a one-trick pony. He can stand very straight, in a fine suit with slicked back hair and teeth whiter than heaven’s pearly gates. But where do the laughs come from? He often just encourages other comedians to do their jobs and make people laugh, rarely adding any substance to the conversation.
His stand-up tours are similar. He tells one-liners which don’t link to each other, he’ll then do his laugh, make some more crude jokes and then pick on a few members of the audience. And he does it again and again and again.
But maybe not again? This time he may have gone too far. In his most recent stand-up show one of his jokes not only caused outrage amongst the ‘Karens’ of the world, but fellow comedians and even people who are known for their ability to ‘take a joke’. (‘Take a joke’ being another way of accepting abuse of course.) But this joke was even a bit much for me; a fan of Jerry Sadowitz, Stewart Lee and Frankie Boyle, I often think that comedians such as these get a lot of abuse for making jokes that are perfectly acceptable in my eyes. Perhaps that’s my own ignorance, a weird sense of humour, or the fact that these three comedians in particular are funny.
Jimmy Carr CAN be funny, but it is not the norm. And this joke about dwarves was not only offensive, unnecessary and damaging but it was simply unfunny. I won’t repeat the joke here because of the above reasons, basically, but you’ll be able to read it and see for yourselves what you think. It was not for me.
People know relatively little about Jimmy Carr. A Cambridge graduate who briefly worked for Shell Oil he really should know better. Or perhaps the grandiose education and the decision to leave a highly successful company to become, arguably, an equally successful comedian has gotten to his head. Incredibly intelligent, he worked out how to scam the government and get away with paying 2% tax in 2012 despite an income that went way into the millions.
David Cameron left a G-20 Summit to comment on the issue, saying, “People work hard, they pay their taxes, they save up to go to one of his shows. They buy the tickets. He is taking the money from those tickets and he, as far as I can see, is putting all of that into some very dodgy tax avoiding schemes.”
I agree with David Cameron. Feel free to re-read that last sentence if you have to fully take it in. If David Cameron, the man who left his own daughter in a pub during a press campaign, is questioning your morals and decision-making skills then surely that spells the beginning of the end for anyone in any profession. But Jimmy Carr shrugged it off and continued moving from ‘strength’ to ‘strength’.
This may sound like a rant against jokes that are edgy or borderline but it definitely isn’t. Free speech is essential; comedy only works when it pushes boundaries. Remove comedians who do this and we’ll be stuck watching Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow for the rest of our lives and we can kiss laughter a sad goodbye. It’s not just the string of offensive jokes Jimmy Carr tells that annoy me, its the way he tells them. In an unfunny way. Compare him to an equally, perhaps more controversial, stand-up like Ricky Gervais.
Gervais’ delivery, timing and material make Jimmy Carr look like a mannequin. If you add that to Gervais’ writing, his charity work and acting and you will see why I have such little respect for Jimmy Carr.
This joke won’t ruin Jimmy Carr’s career; the anger will fade as it always does. But it might open people’s eyes to the limits of this man’s comedy. To keep this rant/article relatively political I would like to quote Churchill if I may, with a reflection on how this joke may effect Jimmy Carr’s career …
“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”
Ignorantly Ignorant 